Can We Fix It? Yes, We Can!

Written by Kristin Orphan
FHF Founder and Director
kristin@finallyhomefoundation.net 

We bought a new dishwasher about 6 months ago.  Recently, we discovered that the door
that releases the soap was not opening on a consistent basis.  So, we figured out a way to “trick it”
sometimes, but often we have to run the load a second time. Why do we keep
doing the same thing and expecting different results?  Why are we changing our behavior to compensate for the
dishwasher’s malfunction?  Why?  Because, we are survivors.  We work hard to get things done and we
are creative in our problem solving. 
But, these strengths turn into weaknesses when we neglect to take the
time to address the real problem and use up all of our energy with quick fixes that
fall short.  We begin to over
function in our roles to make up for gaps in the system.  As a parent, whether we’ve come to a
new season in our child’s development or we are facing a very difficult
challenge, we must learn to do our part well and teach our children to do their
part.  Do we stick to the rules and
consequences we have communicated or do we get really frustrated and work over
time to try to make our child successful at our own expense?  Do our children know that the
boundaries we set are loving and firm or have they learned that with enough
whining or procrastinating, we will cave and save them in the end? This is
difficult for all of us, because we do not want our children to fail.  And sometimes, our children do require
extra support and our over working is masking a problem that requires outside
help or professional intervention.  
Parenting is hard work and it’s easy to take that to an unhealthy and
unhelpful level.  We all come to
times where we realize that our systems need some adjustment.  If it’s broken, let’s fix it!  (By the way, it turns out it was the
dishwasher soap we were using.  Go
figure).